I grew up in a two-parent home in which some would consider it to be traditional. There were rules of the household, chores I had to complete, and expectations I had to follow. One of the expectations was to respect my parents and to do what I was told, and if they had to ask me twice, it came with consequences.
In my upbringing, I saw the role of my father and mother. They had a system in place and were a team. My father was the breadwinner, and my mother was the nurturer of the house. The roles they maintained were how society operated at that time, meaning, many men worked jobs to maintain the financial operations of the house. This was the case because of societal norms and because doors of opportunities were closed for women, and many women were raised to be the nurturers of the household, not the financial leader of a home. As society moved forward, more doors of opportunity opened for more women and minorities. This caused a shift in the household in how both men and women function within a home. Whether you are married, divorced, or a single father, navigating around your circumstances are important to being that glue. It is important because values are learned, and expectations are established so that the vision for the family is carried out.
As a man, you are expected to carry the weight of your family on your shoulders. You must be strong and resilient, but also kind and understanding. You have to be the one to hold it all together—the glue that binds your family. It is not an easy task, but it is one of the most important roles you can play in life. Let’s talk about what being the glue in your family means and why it’s so important.
Leadership and Support
Being the glue in your family means being a pillar of strength and support, while still showing care and compassion for those around you. You must recognize when someone needs help or guidance and offer it with humility. Showing leadership does not necessarily mean taking charge; oftentimes, it is simply listening to others’ concerns and offering advice when asked for it.
It is also important to try to unify everyone in your family by promoting open communication between members. This can be as simple as taking some time each day for everyone to talk about their day or hosting a weekly game night where everyone can come together for some fun activities. It may also include having more serious conversations about issues that are affecting any members of the family so that everyone is on the same page and feels comfortable talking openly about their feelings.
Leadership also extends beyond just relationships within your own family—it includes being an example to other men in your community as well. Showing kindness, respect, and setting a good example are all integral parts of being a strong leader among men in society today.
Being the glue doesn’t necessarily mean getting everything done yourself—sometimes it means making sacrifices so that others can thrive as well. That could mean sacrificing time with friends or putting aside personal goals to focus on helping those around you instead. It could also mean sacrificing material possessions if someone else needs them more than you do—like giving away clothes or toys that you don’t use anymore but may be beneficial for someone else in need within your community or even within your own household. Making these types of sacrifices will show people how much you care about them and how willing you are to put their needs before yours – even if it means making some tough decisions along the way.
Concluding, being the glue in your family is no easy feat but necessary. While there are many challenges ahead, we can get through them by supporting each other as a unified front – something which starts right at home with strong leadership from father figures like yourself! So don’t shy away from being that rock they rely on – take up this challenge head-on with courage, resilience, love, understanding, patience…and lots of hugs! In doing so you will surely become an example worth looking up to both inside and outside of your household!
Alan D. Benson is an author, educator, and president of Benson Group, LLC. He has written five self-help books: Stand Up! A Message to the Black Man; Keep That Seat Hot (Volume I and II); and Her Hair is Her Crown of Glory (Volume I and II). Stand Up! is a book that uplifts the accomplishments of Black Men, and further lists steps to set them on the course to becoming the best they can be in their lives, careers, families and communities. All volumes of Keep That Seat Hot and Her Hair is Her Crown of Glory teach the principles of operating and sustaining a business in the barbering and beauty industries.
For more information about Alan D. Benson and his products and services, please visit alandbenson.com or email [email protected].